tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19857826022764276012024-03-13T07:48:16.983-04:00So This is Army Life...Behind every good soldier is a woman waiting for him to come home safely.
My thoughts and insights on the adventure of being an
ARMY WIFEChelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-26751221126674490102013-11-25T10:16:00.004-05:002013-11-25T10:17:37.580-05:00Our infertility journey has run smack into a wall.<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333969116211px; line-height: 18.88888931274414px;">Mr. S and I have gotten some bad news. After years of medical testing, pills, ER visits, injections, and even surgery, we've hit a wall and have been told that the only way that we will probably be able to have children is through in vitro. It's going to be a difficult road to navigate financially, timing around deployments/training, and physically, and frankly I'm running on empty in the hope department. Please keep us in your prayers as we start down this long road. </span>Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-61819723665838481152013-11-10T16:22:00.000-05:002013-11-12T09:48:53.752-05:00Update: Mr. S is home and we begin a new journeySo very sorry. I honestly didn't think anyone was even reading this until I happened to log in one day and see that people were, in fact, interested in what I had to say. Now I feel crazy guilty for not updating y'all.<br />
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When I left off, Mr. S was still in Afghanistan, I had just begun working as a vet tech, and life was nutty.<br />
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Mr. S came home at the end of October. I can't believe I didn't tell y'all because I was practically jumping out of my skin with excitement. Everything has been great between us over the last year. I don't know why I ever thought it wouldn't be. Within a couple of hours of him getting home, it was like the deployment didn't even happen.<br />
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We've begun a new challenge though, we've been trying unsuccessfully to start a family. We knew this would be a struggle and had been trying for over a year when he deployed, but we've certainly kicked it up a knotch this last year. Due to my severe Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), I rarely if ever, ovulate on my own. We've completed over the last several years, 5 rounds of Clomid, 3 failed rounds of Follistim injectable meds, laparoscopic surgery, and are currently on our final round of Follistim. Eek!<br />
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I honestly think that infertility has been more of a challenge for our marriage than the deployment! Between the hormones, the frustration, the devastation, and the hope that we try to cling to, it's definitely been difficult. Thank goodness Mr. S puts up with me being crazy!<br />
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Our next step is IUI or IVF if this cycle doesn't work, so cross your fingers for us.<br />
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I hope to update y'all a bit more and keep this blog up, despite my lapse in writing, so bear with me and thanks for reading!Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-40157587048378193442012-10-20T23:17:00.000-04:002013-11-10T16:08:27.692-05:00What is normal anymore?I keep hearing people say that they can't wait for "things to return to normal" when the guys get home. It's left me confused and wondering what is normal anymore. We moved to a new post in September of last year, were informed of the impending deployment around Thanksgiving, and he was gone right after Christmas. It was such a whirlwind of moving, trying to get adjusted, then preparing for him to leave, and then he was gone. Well, now he's due to come home in only a couple months. Can you believe it?!?! It's shocking to me that this deployment is almost over. The days have been long, but the weeks certainly have been short.<br />
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Now, I'm left with a new challenge. I've managed to build a new life for myself here. We didn't really know many people when he left, so I've really established not only a new routine of being on my own, but I've surrounded myself with new people, started a new job, and both had a pet pass away and adopted a new kitten. Life has changed drastically from the "normal" of before he left. </div>
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There never really was a normal though. It was always us getting ready for the move, getting settled, getting ready for him to leave, etc. There was never any routine that we had established before he left. There was no normal. So now I'm beginning to get a little nervous about Mr. S coming home. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to think that he'll be home safe and sound again. Despite that, I'm anxious that with no real "normal" to return to, it's going to be a challenge to readjust to being together. </div>
Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-41014012654881771882012-06-23T13:11:00.000-04:002012-06-23T13:11:03.375-04:00Sad day.Today is definitely a sad day. For anyone reading this, please go home and hug your loved ones. Let them know that you love them and cherish this moment in time.<br />
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We've just surpassed the halfway point for the deployment and we've certainly been celebrating this milestone. We've started counting down rather than counting up, and it feels amazing. That is, until today.<br />
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I hadn't heard from Mr. S in about a week, so when I got a message from him today I was ecstatic, until he told me that he had something important to tell me. Naturally, I stopped cold and began to panic. Had he been hurt? Was something wrong?<br />
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As it turns out, we lost a cherished soldier yesterday. He was a well respected man and his wife and I have become friends through the deployment. He leaves behind two young boys as well. <span style="background-color: white;">I am deeply saddened for her. She has dedicated her whole life to this man, to this life and now it has all been taken from her. She didn't deserve this. Her kids didn't deserve this. While we're all still counting down the days until our husbands will come home, her countdown has dissolved right before her eyes, and I can't even begin to imagine how that feels. </span><br />
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Mr. S is upset. We were able to Skype for a little and talk about it. I think this genuinely frightened him. Since Simon has been serving, I've never seen fear in his eyes before today. The war is much more of a reality for both of us now. We're both that much more anxious for the deployment to be over and for him to be home safe with me again.<br />
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For privacy reasons, I don't want to give out the soldier's name, but please keep his family in your prayers. They could use all the prayers and warm wishes you can spare.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-56396086160502400822012-06-07T23:13:00.001-04:002012-06-07T23:30:49.866-04:00Surprise!!!Just when I need it the most, he always seems to make me smile. Look at what showed up at my door today!<br />
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Yes, that is in fact a 7 foot teddy bear. I woke up this morning to the doorbell ringing. When I finally got my bum down the stairs to answer the door, all that was there was a rather large package. I say large, but it was only about 1/3 of the size of it's contents! There was no note, so I popped that sucker open quickly like a kid at Christmas to find out what was inside. I found a very peculiar orangey colored something vacuum sealed in plastic. Of course, being the impatient nut that I am, I tore open the plastic and the mysterious contents began to grow and grow and GROW until it towered over my 5'3" frame. I realized that it was a giant teddy bear and could not stop laughing. That man new just how to make my day and show me how much he missed me.<br />
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So now, my bear and I (who I have affectionately named Bradley) are going to snuggle up in a bed that no longer feels empty and dream of my love coming home to me.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-72492927725675620142012-06-06T16:00:00.001-04:002012-06-07T23:31:04.389-04:00I'm amazing!So sorry that I haven't been posting much. I've been so darn busy being awesome!<br />
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I've completely changed my life for the better. Apparently, all I needed was a little challenge thrown at me to get me wake up and realize how comfortable I had gotten with being miserable. I don't want to be miserable! I want to be happy and healthy and amazing!</div>
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Well, I've been working hard. I am happy to report that I am down almost 20lbs. I'm working towards my certification to become a group fitness instructor. I am running a Mud Run in 10 days. Eek! I also just signed up for my local half marathon in a few months. Whoohoo! </div>
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On top of that, my relationship is better than ever with my husband. I was finally able to realize that I was holding it against him that I couldn't talk to him despite knowing that it wasn't his fault. It was hard not knowing anything that he's doing, but I've sort of gotten used to the fact that I won't know what he was doing until he gets home. He's been making an extra effort to talk to me when he can, and we seem to have found our spark again. </div>
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In a strange way, I feel blessed to have this deployment. Not only was it a wake up call to me to get healthy again, but it has truly challenged my independence. I am confident now that I can handle anything that comes my way. Yes, I still have bad days and sometimes all it takes is a song on the radio to make me cry, but I'm happy, confident, and so in love. </div>
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Thank you to all who have been supportive through this tough time. It's been amazing to get so many messages of encouragement, and some have truly brought tears to my eyes. We're just about halfway through this thing, and I think we're equipped to get through the next few months with no problems. </div>Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-55632879027383123772012-03-30T16:53:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:31:14.517-04:00Feeling disconnectedIt's been about 6 weeks since he's been gone now. I've gotten into somewhat of a schedule and have been working hard to keep busy. The days seem to drag on, but the weeks go by quickly. I never understood that phrase until now.<br />
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That being said, I'm feeling so disconnected from my husband. His communication has been down, so I've only been hearing from him for about 15 minutes once a week. Needless to say, by the time we get the "I miss yous" and the necessary info out, our conversation time is just about up. While I'm glad to hear from him, I'm left feeling even more empty than I was before he called. Everyone tells me to be glad that I get to talk to him at all, and I am, but it still leaves me feeling so empty and alone, that I can't help but want more.<br />
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I don't even feel like we're a married couple anymore. As much as I love my husband, we're so out of sync right now, it's hard to remember what it's like when we're together. I have absolutely no idea what he's got going on in Afghanistan and he has no clue what things are like here at home. This just leads to a cycle of self pity and anger. I wonder sometimes if something is wrong with me that I feel this way. I know we had a rock solid relationship before he left, but now I feel like I barely know him, and this is only the beginning. We have so much longer than this to get through until it's all over.<br />
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I feel as though I've put up an emotional wall so that I don't break down. I've made a life for myself without my husband, and it's easy to forget what life is like with him, or how it will be when he gets home. It's the only way I knew how to get through life without my best friend by my side. Now, I'm afraid it's resulting in my feelings of disconnect.<br />
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I've been trying to remain optimistic, and I know that these feelings will pass when I finally do get to talk to him more, but it's hard not to feel withdrawn from it all.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-3746455195911654112012-02-17T09:15:00.003-05:002012-06-07T23:31:25.032-04:00Keeping BusyI woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I've decided to jump into this deployment head on. I'm already on the board for my FRG (Family Readiness Group), but we only meet about once a month so it's not enough to keep my busy. God is good and presented me with an open position for a veterinary technician on post. If you have an extra prayer in you, please send it my way that I get hired. If I can't find a job, I swear I'm going to go crazy in this house all day. <br />
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I'm also joining the local YMCA. The gym on post is free, but there's still a charge for the classes and they don't offer any that interest me. I really only go to the gym for classes seeing as I have an elliptical at the house. Luckily, the YMCA gives a military discount, so whoohoo!<br />
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I'm so excited to get started in a routine, both work wise and fitness wise. I just need everything to fall into a nice and tidy schedule so that I don't notice how slow the days go by. Bring it on deployment, I'm ready for you now!Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-73980523705971793132012-02-16T22:49:00.002-05:002012-06-07T23:31:35.906-04:00Thank God for my friends.After my awful day yesterday, I had decided that I needed to be optimistic today and made a lunch date with a friend. I was hoping for an uneventful meal, but I have to admit that in the middle of it, I just completely broke down. I was so embarrassed, but she assured me that it's ok to be sad and there's no shame in crying and just let me vent.<br />
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After a little ice cream and the realization that I <i>do </i>have at least a few really good friends here, I genuinely feel much better. I'm still sad and feeling especially lonely today, but knowing that there are people who not only completely understand what I'm going through but care enough about me to make sure I'm ok is comforting.<br />
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I also started flipping through a book that was given to me by the Christian Military Fellowship, titled "Faith Deployed...Again." I have to recommend this to any Christian military wives out there. It really is an amazing book with stories from wives as well as prayers to help you through your happiest and your toughest days. I decided to open to a random page and take whatever it said to heart. This is what it said:<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><b>“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5b)</b></span></span><br />
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I put my faith in Him to give me the strength to pick myself up and get on with life. So here's to tonight coming to an end and another day crossed off the calendar. Bring on tomorrow! It will be one day closer to him coming home to me.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-53096177197664598552012-02-15T22:55:00.000-05:002012-06-07T23:31:45.446-04:00Having a meltdown kind of day.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I honestly thought today was going to be a completely normal day. I had people coming over and plans to keep me busy. I never would have thought that I'd spend most of the day in tears.<br />
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He's only been gone about two weeks, but I think the fact that he's actually gone really hit me today. I've been so strong so far and haven't even really had a good cry until today. I'm sure I needed it, but now I just can't stop. Every emotion is coursing through me all at once, and I don't even know how to process it all.<br />
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I feel so alone in this despite the fact that I know I'm not. I almost feel like because I've been so strong and everyone's so impressed with how I've composed myself thusfar, that I don't want to break down and expose all these feelings to anyone. I feel guilty that I feel so miserable and as though I would just be dragging everyone else down to express that misery. I can't burden my husband with what's going on. I know it would kill him that he's not here to bring me a hot cup of tea and let me cry it out in his arms. That's not fair to him at all, so I know I can't share how I feel with him. I have to be strong when he calls, but it's so hard.<br />
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I keep praying that if I just have a good cry that I'll be ok, but right now I don't even feel like that's possible. I know in my head that we'll get through this, but I just can't help but think this deployment is going to be so much more painful than I ever imagined. <br />
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<br />Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-49614813741091443682012-02-06T22:53:00.002-05:002012-06-07T23:32:00.025-04:00Ignorance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was shopping today and happened to strike up a conversation with one of the workers in the hardware store and explained that my husband had just deployed and I had no idea what tools I needed for a particular job and would need to have pretty much everything explained to me. She began to ask me pretty personal questions about his being gone. In general, I don't mind explaining our lifestyle. People don't know and sometimes have a general interest in how the Army effects even every day life. I was incredibly insulted, however, when she switched the topic to sex. She flat out asked me if I would miss it while he's gone and made the comment that she couldn't go that long without it. WHAT?!? Who asks that kind of question and what in the world did she expect my answer to be. After promptly telling her that my sex life was between me and my husband she seemed to get the hint and mentioned that being an Army wife is like being single without the possibility of sex and then stopped talking altogether. Needless to say, I was thankful for the silence.<br />
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This just makes my blood boil. Please don't ever pose an insensitive question like that to a military spouse. Yes, of course we miss physical intimacy with our husbands, but more so, we miss the everyday of a kiss on the forehead or a squeeze of your hand. I even miss the fact that he usually does the dishes. I just want him to come home safely, so yes I miss things, but my focus isn't on my physical desires, merely on him coming back to me in one piece. Also, don't ask the question "Aren't you afraid he'll be killed?" Yes, of course I'm terrified of that and thank you so kindly for ruining whatever I was doing and making me focus on this fear again. As a military spouse, you really just can't think about this or you'll drive yourself crazy with worry. So, don't be stupid and ask such an ignorant question because it's in no way helpful and only makes me hate your guts.<br />
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That's my two cents for the day.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-4444231527960196552012-02-05T10:43:00.004-05:002012-06-07T23:32:39.117-04:00He's really gone.As much as you can tell yourself that you're ready to see them go, there's nothing like actually seeing your husband in uniform with a gun in his hand and one on his hip, boarding a bus with his men. I can't even begin to describe the emotions, the fears, the questions. It truly is torture.<br />
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We started off the day pretending everything was normal; going out to breakfast and joking around, playing with the dogs, and trying to finish packing his last minute items. Even though it seemed normal, every squeeze of my hand and every kiss on my forehead made me remember that I wouldn't feel those things again for a long time.<br />
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Running late is something typical in my house and this day was no exception. In a way, it was a good thing. Mr. S wasn't able to really sit down and say a prolonged goodbye to each of the animals. Our fur family is just that, our family, and I knew he would have a hard time leaving them. He gave each a hug and a kiss and told them he loved them while I took pictures and that was that. I knew it was going to be hard for him to say goodbye to Pugsly, our 14 year old cat. His health has been failing and he may not be here when Mr. S gets back, but luckily with so little time, Mr. S didn't have time to wallow and be sad. The goodbyes to his fur babies went much better than expected and I was grateful for that.<br />
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We got to the parking lot and all I kept thinking was, "I'm not ready for this. He's not leaving." I was wrong. Not only did he leave, but I was surprisingly stronger than I realized and didn't completely break down. Yes, there were a few tears that rolled down my cheek as he gave me those final kisses, but I managed to keep it together. It was definitely the toughest day of my life for sure, but I didn't let it sink me and I'm proud of myself for that.<br />
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Now that the emotional charge of the goodbye is done and he's actually gone, I'm sort of numb to it all. With all that we've been through, I'm used to him leaving for even a few weeks or months at a time. There are still a pair of his pajamas on the bedroom floor, his slippers are still by the front door, and my bed still smells like his cologne. It feels like any other time that he's left, but I'm assuming that the realization will come in a few weeks that his homecoming is further off than normal.<br />
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All in all, I'm proud of myself for feeling so confident despite his leaving. I'm almost excited in a way to get this deployment underway because the sooner it begins, the sooner he gets to come home to me.<br />
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<br />Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-65128866747474325672012-01-11T23:35:00.000-05:002012-06-07T23:33:02.328-04:00Can't Wait for it to be OVER!!Only problem is... it hasn't even begun.<br />
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I'm having mixed feelings today about Mr. S deploying soon. One minute, I'm proud of myself for holding it together while he's been gone (despite BOTH cars each having a flat tire on the same day) and thinking "I can do this!"He'll be gone just about the same amount of time as he was in Ranger School, and yet the days don't seem to drag on like they did back then. It seems strangely easier this time, maybe because I know that this separation ends soon. I'm not sure I'll feel the same way when he leaves for so much longer.<br />
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I hate the thought of him leaving. I know letting him walk away on that day is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. With that being said, I can't wait for his homecoming. I remember when he was in training in Germany and we hadn't even been able to speak to each other in about 2 months; the excitement that bubbled up inside me when he finally came home made me tingle from head to toe. I remember jumping into his arms after a mere month in Ranger School and crying into his neck, mixing my tears with the gunpowder residue still on his skin. Each one of these times, I had that same feeling that I did on our wedding day. I remember seeing him, and suddenly there was no one else in the room; all that mattered was how quickly I could get to him. (Trust me, Mr. S still teases me that I practically ran down the aisle to him.) I can't wait for the feeling again.<br />
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In a way, I think we're blessed that we live this lifestyle. The monotony of every day life leaves people numb and unappreciative of the relationships they should hold most dear. Between deployments and training, we truly cherish every second that we get to spend with each other, even if we're just watching movies in our pajamas or grocery shopping; we wouldn't have it any other way.<br />
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"Live each day like he's deploying tomorrow."Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-11507912279980928832012-01-05T15:11:00.001-05:002012-01-05T15:14:52.125-05:00Pre-Deployment TrainingDriving into the parking lot, all I see is soldiers in uniform hauling duffel bags and ruck sacks. This sight is oddly familiar and yet it feels so new at the same time. Simon squeezes my hand and tells me he loves me as we park the car. I know it's not our real goodbye. He'll only be gone for training for three weeks, but I know in my heart that his training now means he's really deploying sooner than I'm ready for.<br />
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I've been so nervous leading up to this night, but right at this moment, I'm sort of numb to it all. A few giggles and goodbye kisses later and he's on his way. I expect the tears to start when I get back into the car, but they don't. I fear that walking into my empty house will bring on the sobs, but again I'm simply numb. I don't really know how to feel right now. Maybe I'm getting used to this whole Army wife thing after all. Maybe I'm just avoiding my true feelings so I don't have to be sad that he's not here.<br />
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<br />Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-18700698201521261382011-11-07T02:17:00.001-05:002012-06-07T23:33:18.352-04:00The Dreaded News...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, we finally got the news. He's going to deploy. I can't get into much of the details, not that I have many. My mother in law has been visiting this last week, so my husband was grateful that he was able to tell both of us together. It made it so much harder though. She barely seemed to flinch, although she has another son who served in the Navy, so she's a bit more used to deployments. I'm sure it'll be harder for her to deal with when the time comes closer though.<br />
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I'm left feeling confused, selfish, hurt, scared, and sad. I knew this day was coming but it was never supposed to come so soon. We had plans. We had been seeing a new fertility specialist and were trying to conquer my stupid ovaries and finally have a family of our own. All the plans are now changing...emotions are changing. It's all so difficult to understand.<br />
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When my husband told me, I cried. His mother was here so I tried to hold it together, but it was hard. He told me that night in bed that I didn't have to be strong for him, that he was scared too and to just talk to him. I sobbed and sobbed and let it all out. I think I needed that... we needed that. We discussed how we had made it through so many hard separations before. We could survive this one. <br />
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So now I'm still awake at 2am obsessing about my husband's upcoming deployment. I feel selfish that I cry about it. It's the thought of saying goodbye that hurts me most. In the past, that's been the hardest part whenever we've been separated. I don't want him to worry about me. I want to be able to be strong for him so he won't worry, but I'm afraid that he knows me too well and will know no matter what I'm holding in how I feel.<br />
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I'm judging myself for all of my feelings and questioning what I feel. I almost look forward to finally feeling numb from it all. It gets overwhelming to be in my head. <br />
<br />Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-60950224905089273002011-07-11T15:52:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:33:35.970-04:00People can be so ignorant.I just have to take a second to vent. I am so incredibly frustrated that people can be so close minded.<br />
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As you know, I am a veterinary technician and care deeply for animals. Not only do I have two dogs, a cat, and a rabbit of my own, but I frequently rescue animals who are going to be euthanized at the local animal control and nurse them back to health until they can be placed in a forever home. All these animals need is time and love to become the perfect pets. Unfortunately, animal control doesn't have the time or capability to do this. I rescue those that I can, but sadly many are put to sleep every day. I can't save them all.<br />
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People are so ignorant when it comes to Animal Control and cats and dogs "from the pound". It makes me crazy when people tell me that they don't want to rescue an animal from the pound because it will have issues. Another thing I hear a lot is that people want a "pure bred" animal. I can't change these people's minds despite the fact that I try.<br />
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Another type of ignorant person is that person who breeds their animals for no reason other than to make money. There are so many breeders of pit bulls down here. It makes me so mad. If one of them could look at all the sad faces of pit bulls who will never be adopted down at animal control, I would hope they would stop breeding, but they won't ever know. They choose to stay ignorant while countless lives are being lost due to this overpopulation and mistreatment by humans. UGH!!! So MAD!!!<br />
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I wish I could scream it from the rooftops and make the world unserstand that the way some people treat and think about these animals as disposable is WRONG! One of my own dogs, Peach, a 1 1/2 year old Chihuahua was treated in this way. She was purchased by a woman for about $1200 and was taken care of until about her first birthday. Her owner decided to take her, her "outfits", and all her paperwork down to the local animal control. The reason she gave for giving her up was that she didn't have the time for her. What she didn't care to think about when she dropped her off was that owner surrenedered animals are typically brought straight to the back and euthanized due to lack of space. Luckily for Peach I was there to rescue her. She is truly the sweetest dog and I get emotional when I think about how someone could have ever given up this little angel. She makes my heart smile. How can you turn your back on that?<br />
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Ok. I'm done with my rant... I just needed to vent my frustration.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-92128593460027734572011-06-29T20:14:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:34:30.610-04:00A home for Sammie and a new home for us!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So Sammie, the foster kitten I convinced my husband to pull from animal control went to her new home. Yay! They seem like really nice people and were instantly in love with that little ball of purrs. We're so glad to have rescued her and sent her to her new forever home, but now the house feels a little empty. I know, ridiculous with a rabbit, a cat, two six week old kittens, two dogs... and a husband of course! Haha! So... I'm rescuing two more tomorrow. Two orange kittens that were abandoned in someone's yard the other day. So sad that someone could just leave these poor helpless kitties out to fend for themselves. Not to mention the fact that it's about a 1000 degree here in good old Georgia and these poor kittens would have died of heat stroke if not found when they were.<br />
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In other news, we're moving into a brand new house in just about 7 weeks. We spent this past weekend searching for the perfect home and found that it was harder than we though, until.... we stumbled upon the perfect house! We can't contain our excitement. I wish I could move tomorrow so we could get settled in. One of the best parts... a yard for the dogs! No more walking on leashes in the apartment community. We will have a brand new home with a brand new fenced in yard! Can't wait! Now, the move isn't something I'm looking forward to. We're doing a DITY move or PPM. That's going to be exhausting, but it may be well worth it financially for us to deal with the extra effort. My brother in law and father in law are willing to come down to help, so that at least take a bit of the heavy lifting off of my shoulders.<br />
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So, for now, I'm trying to tie up our lives here. I'm trying to get some school work done, rescue as many animals as I can, work as much as I can, buy a house, pack and move our house and fur family, and all while keeping my sanity. Wish me luck!Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-11042662655816086182011-06-22T17:09:00.001-04:002012-06-06T16:04:27.583-04:00Moving!!!Sorry i haven't written in a while (not that anyone really reads this enough to miss me). Things have been crazy here on my end. I've been working 50+ hours a week at the veterinary hospital, which means 11 hour days of wrestling dogs and cats. I'm exhausted!!!<br />
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I've been rescuing animals again. Haha. Big surprise. I rescued a kitten from animal control hours before she was to be put to sleep. The poor little girl was so underweight and had an abscess on her leg and a cut on her nose. With a little love and care, she's now the sweetest little girl and will be ready for her new home any day now. I also took in two 3 week old kittens who were found in a gutter. They are super sweet but certainly a handful. So, needless to say, my house is crazy all the time with all the animals. Currently we have the 2 dogs. Gambit is an 8 month old Border Collie Mix and Peach is a 1 year old Chihuahua. They were both animal control rescues here in Columbus and within hours of being put to sleep when they were saved. I have my 13 year old Himalayan cat, Pugsly. I've had him for the last 12 years. He's my grumpy old man. A couple of years ago, I rescued a baby rabbit, now named Cricket, who had a fractured leg. Our current fosters include Sammie, the 10 week old kitten and Roswell & Scuba, the 3 week old kittens. CRAZY! I wouldn't have it any other way though.<br />
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Since Simon has been back from Ranger School, he has gone through the crazy process of trying to figure out what's next. Apparently, a whole lot of waiting... He was able to go through his Mechanized Leader course a couple of weeks ago and is now just waiting on going to Airborne school. As far as we've been told, he should get in this Friday, but you never know until he's actually in, so we'll see. We're crossing our fingers though because if he doesn't get in this week, it throws off our whole moving schedule. Which brings me to....<br />
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We're moving!!!<br />
We're leaving Fort Benning and Columbus, GA and headed for a new adventure. We're going to Savannah! At this point in time, (if everything goes according to plan) we should be moving in about 8 weeks. We can't wait! We'll be buying our first home out there and are going house hunting this weekend. This move is going to be so much easier than our last one. Savannah is only about 4 hours from here. That's a lot better than our 21 hour drive from Massachusetts last year. No thank you!<br />
<br />Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-67060765224764181582011-05-16T10:04:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:35:07.655-04:00He's HOME!!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My emotions are still reeling and I've had a few days for it all to sink in.<br />
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Thursday night, I got into bed counting down the minutes until I could pick Mr. S up for his 8 hour pass the next morning. Just as I was falling asleep, my phone rang. It was him! He said that he couldn't talk, but that he was coming home..not for an 8 hour pass, but for good!<br />
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Friday morning arrived and I was so excited to be able to bring my husband home. I couldn't sit still. I got to post extra early and waited in the parking lot for any sign of the guys being released. After 5 hours of tense waiting and pacing with fellow wives, they started to appear. I thought I was going to cry I was so excited. As each wave of soldiers exited the compound gates and each man reunited with his wife, I was getting that much more excited to finally get to reunite with Mr. S. Then I realized that there were no more men coming out and there were no more wives left waiting with me. He wasn't coming.... I tried to hold back the tears.<br />
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Thank goodness for 2 of his friends who saw me in the parking lot. They were both in the course as well and were kind enough to take the time out of their pass to go back into the compound and find out anything they could for me. All we could find out was that he had to go before a board to see if he was going to recycle. He wasn't coming home today. I got in my car and just cried.<br />
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It wasn't for another hour that I received a phone call. "Hey lovey" he said casually. I blurted into the phone through sobs, "Are you coming home today?" "Only if you come get me. I'm waiting for you," he said.<br />
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Long story short, he was dropped from the course for stupid reasons. I was finally able to see him. He's finally home. I was finally able to tell him all the things I had been holding in since he left. He was finally able to sleep. It's been a tough adjustment though. He is feeling like he failed and seems to only want to concentrate on when he can go back. I'm feeling like he isn't happy to be home with me and he would rather be back there. It's taken a few days, but it's finally starting to feel back to normal. Here's the question though:<br />
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As an army wife, do I have an obligation to put my feelings aside and let him be upset that he's not in training with his men or do I have a right to be upset that he doesn't seem so thrilled to be home with me? This dilemna plays again and again in my mind.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-53007294004371153752011-05-11T11:24:00.001-04:002012-06-07T23:35:25.045-04:00Power Clean Time!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Friday, Mr. S comes home for 8 whole hours!!!! I can't believe how quickly this first phase went. It's over. Let's just cross our fingers that he passed and gets to move on to phase 2. There is so much to do before he gets home. I've got to power clean this house and make everything perfect for his arrival. I'm so excited!!! The dogs are getting baths, the tables need dusting, the sheets need washing, I need to bake something. I have to go to post and get some supplies for him. I just can't wait!!! These next two days are going to be long, but it's worth it to get to see him on Friday!!! Wish me luck! </div>Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-89125880104853178612011-05-10T21:18:00.002-04:002013-11-10T16:25:15.239-05:00I will never understand killing helpless animalsA wriggling, writing ball of fur is licking at your face. You love and cherish his antics and think what a great addition to your family he has been. Then, a year or so down the road, you move or have a baby or simply are annoyed by your dog and you bring him down to animal control. You think, he's a sweet boy, he'll find a home for sure. Do you know that 90% of animals in Columbus, GA never see the outdoors again. They are euthanized in the masses here and I can't stand it!<br />
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One of my friends from work has started a project called Happy Homes. She has been working really hard to save those who are on puppy/kitty "death row" and place them in happy, loving homes. There are only so many animals that we can save though. What we really need is a no-kill shelter to take in all these sad, homeless fur babies. She has entered into the Pepsi Refresh Contest to receive a grant for $50,000 to build just such a place. Only problem is, we need people to vote.<br />
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So, I know that not many people are reading my ramblings, but I can't help but ask.... Please help us get this grant and save those sad, neglected dogs and cats.<br />
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You can vote daily on the following website, but even better is if you drink Pepsi. There are Pepsi bottles out there that have codes in the caps. If you enter the codes in those on the website, they count as a "Power Vote" (up to 100 votes for one code!). We're number 40 right now and could really use as much help as we can get. So, please vote!!! Help us save the animals.<br />
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<a href="http://www.refresheverything.com/happy-homes-no-kill-shelter">http://www.refresheverything.com/happy-homes-no-kill-shelter</a><br />
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Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-82273114432707870122011-05-04T01:28:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:36:47.859-04:00Rest in Peace WaffleToday was challenging. I was just stuck with a case of the Mondays all day. I couldn't get out of my funk. I tried everything. I worked all day, so when I got out, I thought that a trip with Gambit to the store to get him a new leash and some treats would be a fun outing and a quick pick-me-up. It was nice, but I was still feeling kind of blah. I thought maybe some KFC might cheer me up. Nope. They forgot to put my cookies in the bag and I realized that I don't really like KFC. It's kind of gross. I decided that I would play with my bunny. She loves to snuggle and give kisses and I knew that would cheer me up. Unfortunately, I went to go pick her up and found that she had died. She was just laying there and was cold to the touch. I lost it.<br />
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I am feeling so insecue right now. I can't handle all these things that have gone wrong since Mr. S left, and Waffle dying is the worst. First I broke my hand, then we had to put one of the dogs I was helping foster to sleep, and now Waffle died. I can't even tell him about any of this because I know it'll make him worry about me and he really ought to be worrying about only himself right now. I just feel so left alone though. I can't even share my frustration and grief with him. I'm upset that I wasn't there for Waffle when she died. She didn't even seem sick. It makes me question my skills as a veterinary technician and it makes me so sad that her little life was cut so short. I'm upset that I have no one here to share all my emotions with, so here I am at 1:30 in the morning, writing it all down. I can only hope that someone out there is listening so as I'm not entirely alone in my thoughts and feelings.... that's definitely how I feel.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-58418868870708830582011-05-02T13:08:00.001-04:002012-02-15T22:57:21.117-05:00Taking Charge of my Life Through Fitness<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: magenta;">I DID IT!!!!</span></span><br />
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I got my butt out of bed and I did it. I got dressed, took care of the dog, put on my sneakers and made my way to post. I completed my first Spin class at 11:45 this morning and I feel GREAT!<br />
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It was hard, but I am so proud of myself. There were a couple of points that I wanted to give up, but I thought about Simon and how hard he's working and his drive to not give up. I felt an emotional surge as I pedaled my way to confidence. I just want to scream "I DID IT!"<br />
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According to my heart rate monitor, I burned over 550 calories, but I didn't stop there. When I got home, I felt so good that I took the dog for a mile long walk. Yes! Another 100 calories burned. I feel so fantastic! Just needed to share...<br />
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This song empowers me.<br />
<b>"Jar Of Hearts"- Christina Perri</b><br />
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No, I can't take one more step towards you<br />
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret<br />
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore<br />
You lost the love I loved the most<br />
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I learned to live, half alive<br />
And now you want me one more time<br />
<br />
<i>[Chorus:]</i><br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br />
Collecting your jar of hearts<br />
And tearing love apart<br />
You're gonna catch a cold<br />
From the ice inside your soul<br />
So don't come back for me<br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
<br />
I hear you're asking all around<br />
If I am anywhere to be found<br />
But I have grown too strong<br />
To ever fall back in your arms<br />
<br />
I've learned to live, half alive<br />
And now you want me one more time<br />
<br />
<i>[Chorus]</i><br />
<br />
It took so long just to feel alright<br />
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes<br />
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed<br />
‘Cause you broke all your promises<br />
And now you're back<br />
You don't get to get me back<br />
<br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br />
Collecting your jar of hearts<br />
And tearing love apart<br />
You're gonna catch a cold<br />
From the ice inside your soul<br />
Don't come back for me<br />
Don't come back at all<br />
<br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br />
Collecting your jar of hearts<br />
And tearing love apart<br />
You're gonna catch a cold<br />
From the ice inside your soul<br />
Don't come back for me<br />
Don't come back at all<br />
<br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
Who do you think you are?<br />
Who do you think you are?Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-80641936909663214142011-05-01T15:52:00.001-04:002012-06-07T23:37:20.714-04:00Nightmares<i>I am driving down a country road with no street lights. It is extremely dark and there are no other cars on the road and no houses in sight. All of a sudden, I see a tree down in the road. I stop the car so as not to hit it, when I notice three men coming out of the woods in my rearview mirror, approaching my car from behind. I'm scared. I can't move forward due to the downed tree. They're closer now. I reach for the door to lock it, but I'm too slow. One of the men has entered my car and is holding a gun to me. I'm terrified....shaking....... A million thoughts enter my mind. Do I fight? Do I run? Do I comply? Am I going to die? Before I can sort through all my thoughts, he pulls the trigger.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<b>I'm scared. </b><br />
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<b><br />
</b><br />
<br />
Only a very few people know about my history with crime. My sophomore year in college I had dislocated my knee and was on crutches. I was making my way from my dorm to my boyfriend's dorm next door to mine. It was a two minute walk from door to door that went terribly wrong.<br />
<br />
It was chilly and my hair was still wet from taking a shower when I walked out the door. Two steps down the sidewalk, a man approached me. He was wearing a green jacket and dark jeans. I remember him being short (for a man-he was still much taller than me at 5'3"). He spoke only broken English, but he was pointing at my knee brace and I figured out that he was asking what had happened to my leg. I started to respond, thinking he was a well wisher who felt bad for the girl on crutches. I didn't look to much into it as similar situations had been happening all day. That was my mistake.<br />
<br />
He started mumbling something about "it all being ok" and "not to worry." I began to be concerned that this man was not stable and started to turn away from him to continue walking. That's when he grabbed me. He pulled me in towards him and caused me to lose my balance. He tried to kiss me and pulled me off my feet. I pushed my crutches out in front of me and managed to regain my balance. I took off towards my boyfriend's dorm, going as fast as I could on crutches. He chased after me. There was no one there to help me. I was running and he was right behind me. I got to the door of the other dorm. You need to swipe your student ID for access to the building. I couldn't get to it fast enough. I couldn't stop. I was panicked. God was watching over me because the door swung open just as I reached it and I was able to get inside. I didn't dare look behind me and see if he was still behind me. I picked up my crutches and ran (on my bad knee) up the 3 flights of stairs to my boyfriend's room and locked myself inside.<br />
<br />
The good news is that he was caught. The campus police were able to locate him within a half hour. I thought that was the end of it.<br />
<br />
The justice system failed me. They let him out on bail and he took off. I moved on and tried not to think about it, but I was changed. No one could understand my paranoia because they hadn't lived through what I had.<br />
<br />
Two years later, just weeks before my wedding to the boyfriend who helped me get through all of this, I received a phone call that would bring it all back up. They had caught him. He was going to be held in jail until the trial, but there was more news. The victim's advocate explained to me that while my attacker was in jail for the charges against me, a witness in an unrelated case had claimed that my attacker was the assailant in an unsolved rape and murder. They were able to test his DNA and discovered that he had , in fact, raped an murdered a woman a mere six months prior to attacking me. He left her body on the train tracks. The phone dropped from my hand....<br />
<br />
I can't even begin to understand my feelings about all this. I feel so unsafe no matter where I am. He wanted to do more than he did to me. He wanted to rape me. He wanted to murder me. I survived, yes, but I feel as though I haven't. Every dark corner, even my own house scares me. The whole world is dangerous and I won't be so lucky next time. He has left a bigger mark on my life than I would even like to give him credit for, but I can't deny it. It's evident even in my dreams.<br />
<br />
The nightmares are more prevalent when Mr. S is not here. All week, I've been lacking sleep due to them. I wake up sweating, my heart beating, sometimes in tears. I need to get through this on my own because he isn't here, but my first instinct is to look to him. I need help. I need sleep.<br />
<br />
Edwin Masarieo began this hell, but I need to finish it.Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985782602276427601.post-70165022139615628222011-05-01T14:54:00.000-04:002012-06-07T23:37:41.019-04:00Royal Wedding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So ANNOYED!!!! Is everyone obsessed with the royal wedding?!?! I've been hearing about the royal wedding for what seems like forever now. It's been going in one ear and out the other. It doesn't affect me. I don't know them. I'm happy for them if they're truly in love that they are getting married because I know that joy of marrying your best friend and wish for everyone to have that. I just don't get all the craziness about it.<br />
<br />
Well, Friday I was getting ready for work and what was on every news channel.... the wedding. Yes, she looked beautiful. Yes, it was over the top, but why do I have to watch it. Are we that obsessed with someone's love life , in another country for that matter, that no other news is important. What about the tornadoes that ravaged the South this week? What about the war in Afghanistan? Even President Obama releasing his birth certificate was more relevant in my opinion. I just can't believe that the world would all stop for one wedding. It drives me nuts.<br />
<br />
I figured that once the wedding was over it would be just that, over. Instead, I still have to hear about it repeatedly. I can't watch tv without someone bringing up her dress or her bouquet. Even facebook is not safe. Now, the news is obsessing over when and where they will be taking their honeymoon. Who cares? UGGGHHH!!!<br />
Ok. Vent session over. Maybe I'm just grumpy because I miss my husband, maybe I have a point...Chelseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01680227371910550352noreply@blogger.com0