I'm amazing!

So sorry that I haven't been posting much. I've been so darn busy being awesome!

I've completely changed my life for the better. Apparently, all I needed was a little challenge thrown at me to get me wake up and realize how comfortable I had gotten with being miserable. I don't want to be miserable! I want to be happy and healthy and amazing!

Well, I've been working hard. I am happy to report that I am down almost 20lbs. I'm working towards my certification to become a group fitness instructor. I am running a Mud Run in 10 days. Eek! I also just signed up for my local half marathon in a few months. Whoohoo! 

On top of that, my relationship is better than ever with my husband. I was finally able to realize that I was holding it against him that I couldn't talk to him despite knowing that it wasn't his fault. It was hard not knowing anything that he's doing, but I've sort of gotten used to the fact that I won't know what he was doing until he gets home. He's been making an extra effort to talk to me when he can, and we seem to have found our spark again. 

In a strange way, I feel blessed to have this deployment. Not only was it a wake up call to me to get healthy again, but it has truly challenged my independence. I am confident now that I can handle anything that comes my way. Yes, I still have bad days and sometimes all it takes is a song on the radio to make me cry, but I'm happy, confident, and so in love. 

Thank you to all who have been supportive through this tough time. It's been amazing to get so many messages of encouragement, and some have truly brought tears to my eyes. We're just about halfway through this thing, and I think we're equipped to get through the next few months with no problems. 

Keeping Busy

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I've decided to jump into this deployment head on. I'm already on the board for my FRG (Family Readiness Group), but we only meet about once a month so it's not enough to keep my busy. God is good and presented me with an open position for a veterinary technician on post. If you have an extra prayer in you, please send it my way that I get hired. If I can't find a job, I swear I'm going to go crazy in this house all day.

I'm also joining the local YMCA. The gym on post is free, but there's still a charge for the classes and they don't offer any that interest me. I really only go to the gym for classes seeing as I have an elliptical at the house. Luckily, the YMCA gives a military discount, so whoohoo!

I'm so excited to get started in a routine, both work wise and fitness wise. I just need everything to fall into a nice and tidy schedule so that I don't notice how slow the days go by. Bring it on deployment, I'm ready for you now!

Taking Charge of my Life Through Fitness

I DID IT!!!!

I got my butt out of bed and I did it. I got dressed, took care of the dog, put on my sneakers and made my way to post. I completed my first Spin class at 11:45 this morning and I feel GREAT!

It was hard, but I am so proud of myself. There were a couple of points that I wanted to give up, but I thought about Simon and how hard he's working and his drive to not give up. I felt an emotional surge as I pedaled my way to confidence. I just want to scream "I DID IT!"

According to my heart rate monitor, I burned over 550 calories, but I didn't stop there. When I got home, I felt so good that I took the dog for a mile long walk. Yes! Another 100 calories burned. I feel so fantastic! Just needed to share...

This song empowers me.
"Jar Of Hearts"- Christina Perri

No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Losing Weight

I had told myself (and my husband) that I was going to get in shape while he was gone. I figured it would be easy. It was pretty easy for me when he was in Germany because I wasn't eating out all the time or following his lead and eating Oreos or ice cream sundaes. When Mr. S is home, I always struggle with my weight. He has to essentially force feed himself nonstop in order to gain weight and I unfortunately have the opposite problem and can eat a single hotdog and gain 3lbs. So, when he's gone I take it as my opportunity to lose all that I've gained while he's been home.

Well, for some reason, this time it hasn't been so easy to get started. I start out every morning on the right track, only to blow it all by the evening. It's been really frustrating. I set up a workout plan for myself as well but have yet to complete a single workout. I find myself making excuses not to wake up early and then am too tired when I get home to make the effort to start a workout. I know it's all excuses. I just feel so tired and don't have the motivation to get up and moving.

Today, I was flipping through the channels and came across "Making the Cut:Ranger School". I decided to watch and see what exactly my husband is going through. Well, I'm not so sure I liked what I saw. I knew it was going to be hard on him, but it upsets me to think that he is essentially being underfed and worked to the bone. They estimate that when each soldier graduates, he will have lost about 25lbs. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be on him to be hungry, sore, and worn down for a minimum of 61 days. I'm so proud of him for going after what he wants and putting himself through something I know I couldn't even think about doing.

This all got me thinking... If he can have the mental toughness to put himself through the torture of Ranger School, why is it I can't put down the fork and get off my butt? There's no reason I can't do it. So, I finally did it. I purged all the junk food out of my house. I put on some walking shoes after work and took the dog with me. I feel so confident now that all I need to do is think of Mr. S struggling his way through Ranger School and I will be able to get through a craving or a bout of laziness. He is inspiring me without even knowing it.
I'm so proud of him and I know he will be proud of me when he gets out and sees his new, thinner, sexier wife!