Monday, February 6, 2012
I was shopping today and happened to strike up a conversation with one of the workers in the hardware store and explained that my husband had just deployed and I had no idea what tools I needed for a particular job and would need to have pretty much everything explained to me. She began to ask me pretty personal questions about his being gone. In general, I don't mind explaining our lifestyle. People don't know and sometimes have a general interest in how the Army effects even every day life. I was incredibly insulted, however, when she switched the topic to sex. She flat out asked me if I would miss it while he's gone and made the comment that she couldn't go that long without it. WHAT?!? Who asks that kind of question and what in the world did she expect my answer to be. After promptly telling her that my sex life was between me and my husband she seemed to get the hint and mentioned that being an Army wife is like being single without the possibility of sex and then stopped talking altogether. Needless to say, I was thankful for the silence.
This just makes my blood boil. Please don't ever pose an insensitive question like that to a military spouse. Yes, of course we miss physical intimacy with our husbands, but more so, we miss the everyday of a kiss on the forehead or a squeeze of your hand. I even miss the fact that he usually does the dishes. I just want him to come home safely, so yes I miss things, but my focus isn't on my physical desires, merely on him coming back to me in one piece. Also, don't ask the question "Aren't you afraid he'll be killed?" Yes, of course I'm terrified of that and thank you so kindly for ruining whatever I was doing and making me focus on this fear again. As a military spouse, you really just can't think about this or you'll drive yourself crazy with worry. So, don't be stupid and ask such an ignorant question because it's in no way helpful and only makes me hate your guts.
That's my two cents for the day.