Monday, May 16, 2011

He's HOME!!!!

My emotions are still reeling and I've had a few days for it all to sink in.

Thursday night, I got into bed counting down the minutes until I could pick Mr. S up for his 8 hour pass the next morning. Just as I was falling asleep, my phone rang. It was him! He said that he couldn't talk, but that he was coming home..not for an 8 hour pass, but for good!

Friday morning arrived and I was so excited to be able to bring my husband home. I couldn't sit still. I got to post extra early and waited in the parking lot for any sign of the guys being released. After 5 hours of tense waiting and pacing with fellow wives, they started to appear. I thought I was going to cry I was so excited. As each wave of soldiers exited the compound gates and each man reunited with his wife, I was getting that much more excited to finally get to reunite with Mr. S. Then I realized that there were no more men coming out and there were no more wives left waiting with me. He wasn't coming.... I tried to hold back the tears.

Thank goodness for 2 of his friends who saw me in the parking lot. They were both in the course as well and were kind enough to take the time out of their pass to go back into the compound and find out anything they could for me. All we could find out was that he had to go before a board to see if he was going to recycle. He wasn't coming home today. I got in my car and just cried.

It wasn't for another hour that I received a phone call. "Hey lovey" he said casually. I blurted into the phone through sobs, "Are you coming home today?" "Only if you come get me. I'm waiting for you," he said.

Long story short, he was dropped from the course for stupid reasons. I was finally able to see him. He's finally home. I was finally able to tell him all the things I had been holding in since he left. He was finally able to sleep. It's been a tough adjustment though. He is feeling like he failed and seems to only want to concentrate on when he can go back. I'm feeling like he isn't happy to be home with me and he would rather be back there. It's taken a few days, but it's finally starting to feel back to normal. Here's the question though:

As an army wife, do I have an obligation to put my feelings aside and let him be upset that he's not in training with his men or do I have a right to be upset that he doesn't seem so thrilled to be home with me? This dilemna plays again and again in my mind.


  1. I came across your blog and couldn't stop reading! My boyfriend is in Afghanistan right now and it's so nice to read where someone understands what I'm going through! He's been my best friend since we were 16 and things finally worked out! I am so happy that you have your husband home with you! Enjoy it!

  2. Thanks Elizabeth. Glad to know I helped someone. I started this blog as a way to fill my time and vent my emotions while he was gone in Ranger School, but now that he's home I think it's remaining therapeutic for me and it seems to do the same for others.
    I pray you have the strength to endure the days without him and that he has a safe return home.


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  4. Wow, I am not a wife yet,but I find your blog very informative. This hit close to home. My guy is gone too and while I know he wants to come home to me,part of him is happy to be doing his part. He left two weeks after I came to live with him in England. I have no friends, I dont know anyone, and I just sit in the house missing him. I try not to talk to anyone about how miserable I am because I think a lot of my friends are secretly jealous about how happy we are together and I dont want any negative energy coming my way.

    As far as the question goes, no matter what the situation, we generally have to put ourselves aside for a time. However, that time should not last too long. You definitely have to understand his feelings, but he should understand yours as well. Thats the whole point of marriage, thinking about the other person and how to keep each other happy.

    Here is my blog as well. We should keep in touch.

  5. Queen Nairobi, so sorry I didn't see your comment sooner. I'm glad you enjoy reading my blog so far.

    In reading your comment, I understand how you feel when you seclude yourself, but be sure to get out and meet people. Don't be afraid to make friends. Life has to go on and it goes by a heck of a lot faster when there are others to share it with. I've had trouble with becoming a bit of a recluse whenever my husband is gone for long periods of time. It almost always puts me in an even bigger funk than I was in originally. I make myself more miserable. So please take care of yourself and be sure to include others and lean on them for support.

    We're about to experience our first deployment and I plan to keep updates going on this blog. I hope that my experience can in some way hep others in the future who find themselves in a similar situation.