Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Rest in Peace Waffle

Today was challenging. I was just stuck with a case of the Mondays all day. I couldn't get out of my funk. I tried everything. I worked all day, so when I got out, I thought that a trip with Gambit to the store to get him a new leash and some treats would be a fun outing and a quick pick-me-up. It was nice, but I was still feeling kind of blah. I thought maybe some KFC might cheer me up. Nope. They forgot to put my cookies in the bag and I realized that I don't really like KFC. It's kind of gross. I decided that I would play with my bunny. She loves to snuggle and give kisses and I knew that would cheer me up. Unfortunately, I went to go pick her up and found that she had died. She was just laying there and was cold to the touch. I lost it.

I am feeling so insecue right now. I can't handle all these things that have gone wrong since Mr. S left, and Waffle dying is the worst. First I broke my hand, then we had to put one of the dogs I was helping foster to sleep, and now Waffle died. I can't even tell him about any of this because I know it'll make him worry about me and he really ought to be worrying about only himself right now. I just feel so left alone though. I can't even share my frustration and grief with him. I'm upset that I wasn't there for Waffle when she died. She didn't even seem sick. It makes me question my skills as a veterinary technician and it makes me so sad that her little life was cut so short. I'm upset that I have no one here to share all my emotions with, so here I am at 1:30 in the morning, writing it all down. I can only hope that someone out there is listening so as I'm not entirely alone in my thoughts and feelings.... that's definitely how I feel.

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